Jump In, Head First

Do you ever feel as though you have no clue what is going on around you? do you ever feel completely lost, scared, panicked, but exited, anxious, and happy all at the same time? Recently I have been the most unpredictable, moody, black and white, unstable person to be around... And I apologize to everyone who is around me....I often feel as though I am trying to find the many puzzle pieces to my life, and than I am trying to match them and slide them together...Except for it isnt always that fun.. Let me put it this way: in order to get to the prizes and good times, you have to live through the challenges and overcome the obstacles. As I am growing up into adulthood I realize how important every decision is we make, and how I must carefully follow my instincts and use my brain, balancing the two. Yes I will make mistakes, yes I will be lost, and yes I will learn and grow stronger and wiser with every step....That's the beauty of life.
so why do I panic, shut down, freak out?.. How ever you want to call it...
love, life, my future, my friends and my family are all swimming around my head...At this point in my life my friends are the most stable factor, and I don't know what I would do without them. (jenny penny and I, rommates and soul-mates!)
In one week I am moving from Michigan State to live with my sister Eva in Richmond for the summer. I am exited to finally be able to bond and hang out as two independent young women. I will need Eva's continuous nurturing touch, loving personality, and sweet and hilarious sense of humor... I feel the need to be recharged, refocused at this point of my journey... Tuned up, kind like an old car. In September I am moving to Milan to study fashion design at Istituto Marangoni (an incredible door opening for me educationally, and personally). It has been my dream for years now to pursue fashion, and I am still coming to terms with the reality of it actually happening. I have not truly fully been able to picture myself studying in an all fashion institute, and working in the field for an a long time... I mean , I have dreampt it many times, but never thought it could become a reality! Now that it is one, I gotta tell ya, I am pretty nervous. Is that wrong? I know I am horrible at making decisions about my life, and the idea of picking one thing and sticking only to that in some way scares me... but than I think of how passionate I am about the fashion industry, about how I want to design, be a business woman, travel, speak many languages, be involved in fashion shows, photo shoots, magazine spreads.... I get goose bumps just thinking of it... That to me means something, and must not be ignored!
My best friend Emily told me once that sometimes in life you just have to jump in, full force, head first... Is it going to be scary? YES. Is it going to be unsure and possibly not the right thing? YES. But, will you ever know if it may be the best decision you have ever made or the worst until you try? NO. You must live to experience life.